ISLAND CABIN

2011-12-01T14:00:00.002-07:00

This was on my list of places to go before leaving Colorado

and I was putting it off.

This is Bowman the Showman.
He lived near me growing up.
I would see him at competitions, a strong and wild skater.
It occured to me, but only like two weeks ago,
that my first introduction to boys was in this context,
in tights and rhinestones, muscles flying around glittering.

He died a couple months ago
alone in a hotel room.

They have this Warhol of Dorothy Hamill there.

Here's my coach's daughter and Robert Wagonhoffer,

a beautiful golden haired boy who brought disco to the rink,

played it loud and did his amazing moves and got in trouble.

The first to land a quad in practice.

Later his partner died of AIDS and then so did he.

This is Janet Lynn. I used to have a color copy of this publicity photo.

I had it completely memorized. I didn't like her skating but I saw my opposite in her,

blond, round and that kind of smile.

things other people want for you

loving nicely made boots, the smell of the sponge material on the tongue

that kept the leather from digging into your shin, but it did anyway, along

the edges. And, the smell of moleskin, spandex, refrigeration.

And then this, Scott Hamilton's unitard on the way out the door.
I wished I hadn't seen it all truncated and itchy looking.

Jasper Havik Black Before and After

2011-10-13T18:51:00.001-06:00

2011-10-13T18:51:00.000-06:00

2010-10-01T23:39:00.000-06:00

2010-09-30T21:20:00.006-06:00

A house I lived in, a 1700's parsonage.
In sixth grade falling out the willow tree in the back
on September 30, 1981 at 7:30 pm in my favorite clothes which were later cut off me
& spent a month in the hospital
then six weeks in the bottom left room in this picture
coming home to orange October light I couldn't recognize our street
I spent weeks spying through all the rooms. I found a box of 78's and very old scissors
I borrowed my godfather's gritty crime novels
which I didn't understand. I tried to get the jokes in the daily strips,
to figure out Garfield. I tried to domesticate a cat from the barn
but she would only stay in the crawl space catching mice and didn't need food. I asked for a fox.
I practiced tap dancing in the reflection of a large window
wide plank new england floors. Doctors, lawyers, us.
The barn and all the mangled treasure.
Trying to juggle with my arm in a sling.
My brother wouldn't take off his blue coat, and he got nicknamed blueberry muffin.
I was happy when the bus dropped him off
but he would come home depressed about the jerks at school
and my sister was always angry.
The witchiest new england halloween
I was an alien in green tights and my arm in tin foil
on the dark side road by the strawberry farm.

2010-07-31T02:58:00.003-06:00

2010-07-19T10:45:00.003-06:00

2010-07-08T22:26:00.000-06:00

2010-07-05T17:53:00.001-06:00

2010-06-30T20:56:00.000-06:00

ENGLISH MOVIES
MAKE ME WONDER
ABOUT ALL THE
SOCIAL CUES
I NEVER
PICK UP
ON

2010-06-30T20:35:00.004-06:00

2010-05-09T10:41:00.003-06:00

Happy Mother's Day Mom, Pam & Marina!!!! xoxoxo from the desert, Noel

2010-05-08T09:11:00.003-06:00

2010-04-04T17:24:00.003-06:00

Easter,
I want it to be associated only with graphics,
the graphics of certain chicks on certain ponds.
Or, Ukranian women
wax painting patterns of helping hands on eggs
helping paws, soft goose feet
no savior and no sunday.

2010-03-31T21:37:00.000-06:00

2010-03-31T20:23:00.000-06:00

w h a t s u p b l o g

2010-02-12T11:06:00.005-07:00

2010-01-18T23:11:00.005-07:00

Ursen turned nine
requested crepes suzette
made the french R
candles in the crepes
gold sneakers
chicken pox
a raise in allowance
circular language
wants to be an animal rescuer
hates being rushed
prefers Blank World
comes to the studio
asks for tea
eats rice cakes
asks for comics
draws runes
draws serpents
secret codes
into early man
talks about his friend's tarantula
often
curious about valentines day
but not about kisses

THAT WAS D E C E M B E R

2010-01-01T23:41:00.009-07:00

Hello and warm greetings for the new year and great moons!

U: why does this tangerine say Holiday Cootie?

why would you want to give cooties?

There's not really a name for back yard neighbors,
and unless there's a compelling reason to know eachother you usually don't.
But they are just right there, washing dishes they are just beyond the window.
I hadn't noticed the unraveling of the house behind us.
I mean, we stopped seeing the elderly lady in pants suits.
We stopped seeing her cocker spaniels in the yard.
Her granddaughters stopped coming over to jump on the trampouline.
Eventually the trampouline was gone,
and so was the ladder for an ancient swimming pool.
The tree got deader.
An orange cat started living in the garage,
going in and out through a hole in the roof,
first a small hole, now a foot square.
But I didn't really see it until
a homeless guy moved his things into the granddaughters play house,
nailed a bedspread over the window opening,
tossed a turkey carcass out into the alley.
So what does the front look like?
A note on the front door posting that the house was winterized.
The bank listed it at half its worth
a bunch of people looked at it and looked at clip boards,
and for now it's a shell with no crab.

2009-12-08T07:46:00.002-07:00

2009-11-29T21:07:00.002-07:00

2009-11-22T22:19:00.005-07:00

I like not paying any attention to myself from time to time.
If you do it long enough you can catch a glimpse of yourself
caught unawares, like watching yourself in profile.
Do you do that?
Is perceiving yourself even a valuable goal?
Maybe not, but it's compelling.
I was remembering the nuns saying Jesus is always with you
I would turn around fast to see if he was behind me
waiting for the drinking fountain, coming into the bathroom,
displaced by the doorknob and hovering near it, but why.
We're just back from farmsitting for our friend, me and my family.
I keep not taking pictures.
It's a year this month that my camera walked off from the Brooklyn apartment.
It might be time to stop making lemonade and get a new one.
I do like what you can't capture.
Crossing the field towards the house
crunching half frozen ground past a slowly creaking windmill
like reenacting a hat movie
and realizing you were happy two seconds ago
before the word happy drifted in and changed the feeling.
Of the chickens we liked the bantum.
Of the stars we liked the meteors and planes.
On the road in the really dark we were scared of the yapping coyotes
and I forgot to not break into a trot, for appearances.
We arrived at the wrong house
and walked back blanketed with meteors and blinking airplanes,
4000 of them in the sky at any given time
the coyotes and us on the ground beneath them.

2009-11-08T21:02:00.008-07:00

THE PARADOX OF
MULTIPLE JESUSES

2009-11-01T20:51:00.003-07:00

So the night is closing in on the day HOW GREAT!!

2009-10-28T21:01:00.002-06:00

2009-10-26T08:24:00.000-06:00

2009-10-26T08:19:00.001-06:00

2009-10-23T17:39:00.000-06:00

2009-10-21T14:00:00.005-06:00

IF YOU LIVE IN COLORADO SPRINGS
DON'T FORGET TO VOTE TO FUND
THE BUS SYSTEM AND ALL OF THE PARKS.
YOU CAN STILL GET A PAPER BALLOT
SENT TO YOUR HOUSE.

2009-10-15T20:39:00.006-06:00

I'm starting to like the poodle! I call him that, because his other half is called Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, barf. He yaps, humps, chews, digs, pees in other people's houses, and doesn't come when you call him.

2009-10-15T14:54:00.001-06:00

2009-10-13T19:53:00.000-06:00

2009-10-12T20:47:00.002-06:00

2009-10-11T00:40:00.005-06:00

what if

2009-10-09T20:12:00.001-06:00

I didn't want my moon crashed into today?

2009-10-07T20:58:00.004-06:00

2009-10-04T09:06:00.001-06:00

the very old plumbing

2009-10-04T08:57:00.002-06:00

e v e r y o n e k n o w s

2009-10-02T23:03:00.005-06:00

2009-10-02T21:53:00.008-06:00

If you call the information desk at Denver International
there is a recording they play during the hold time
saying that DIA is NOT the home of a subterranean parallel US government.
They do have nice toilets.

This has always been a favorite SF building for me.
Heading out of Chinatown on Grant Street.
I guess partly it's the era.

It's pretty small

and about 25% staircase.

some pictures I didn't take
J&K's new Berkeley digs
Beautiful Bolinas, horrible Bolinas,
Cuban beauties
old times

san francisco ups & downs

2009-09-22T20:10:00.005-06:00

2009-09-18T22:47:00.003-06:00

2009-09-16T09:11:00.008-06:00

thanks, junk box!!!

THIS BLOG BREAK WAS FILLED WITH VISITING FRIENDS AND OUR CUP RUNNNETH OVER AND OVER

2009-09-11T09:51:00.007-06:00

2009-08-25T15:25:00.006-06:00

2009-08-16T13:04:00.001-06:00

2009-08-12T22:25:00.009-06:00

S U M M E R . R E C U R R E N C E S

waking up singing Neil Young

although our friend is here
and he is waking up singing Michael McDonald

so okay

learned how to make margaritas.
did that often.

saw my first rattle snake,
a large one sunning itself in the road,
not rattling, good stripes

felt perfect in the pool
alive and immortal
good lights
good balance

It's not always my season.

2009-08-05T22:59:00.006-06:00

2009-07-24T08:22:00.013-06:00

.

N E W //// S P A C E S

.

2009-07-21T23:36:00.010-06:00

VERY FOND FAREWELL TO PUPPY FLOWERS!!!

They had a GREAT run of eleven issues published whenever they wanted
always an inspired design & always a great cast of characters
wander the archives for Karl's sound pieces... V I S I T

This last issue is close to home- I contributed a piece for "Me Like Black", a mini tribute to my man Noel Black.

2009-07-21T18:21:00.005-06:00

WURLITZER PRACTICE AFTERNOON

we heard Willie Nelson perform here
and for perspective this is like the town honky tonk
it's hardly used except for gun shows, etcetera
maybe the most surprising part of that night
was how amazing he plays guitar
like if merle haggard was mexican
that doesn't sound right
and isn't
another time we saw Snoop
a traveling king
an audience cloud

2009-07-19T23:08:00.005-06:00

2009-07-17T11:34:00.006-06:00

_______________

PLACES WHERE
YOU LIKED
SITTING DOWN
IN NEW YORK

_______________

1. the steps outside Sunshine Cinema

thinking it would be cool if it wasn't going to be an hour home

it's boring you have to be so patient there

2. waiting at grand central for the train out

watching people digging it

realizing I like tourist traps, even live in one now

like everyone's a public ward, not that well behaved, partly lost, and with an eye out for some episode to spin into story for the colleagues

3. looking into the center of prospect park like a bowl of grass that might do tricks

like watching surfers at the beach but here it's dogs, friends, kite flyers, different park jammers

not like hacky sackers. too early for drug zombies.

these are people who don't have all day

just that one part of it

2009-07-15T08:17:00.006-06:00

__________________

THIS ONE CAN GO
__________________

the one about the invisible force
that keeps trying to shave my legs but isn't good at it
the force uses an old fashioned razor and can't keep it still
it starts at my ankles
it acts like it's peeling carrots
it isn't a bloody mess
but the feeling of slipping over the bone
right before the bloody mess

2009-07-14T21:19:00.002-06:00

2009-07-14T13:01:00.013-06:00

M A T H A R T

number patterns can be dealt with in art
but the relationship is usually one way
I mean mathematicians don't spend much time seeking
justification of their practice (concepts in math)
via concepts in art
weird love triangle,
if you include the other.

SOMEONE ELSE'S PHOTO ALBUM

2009-07-09T10:17:00.008-06:00

A while ago I was wandering around the auction house downtown. I ended up focused on a photo album in a box. Testing the waters, I put in an absentee bid of ten dollars. I was surprised when I got the call to come pick up my purchase. And then I was surprised again because it came with a whole box full of other albums, all from the same family.

I realize that a family's collection of photo albums is a strange acquisition.

If you happen to know Louis or Clara or any of these people, I'm happy to bring their albums to them.

One of them is dedicated to a trip to Mazatlan in the Spring of 1978.

Pretty sure his wife is Clara but here he's traveling with Joyce.
Anyway it was the seventies.

However I plan to keep this picture of a fisherman throwing his net.

I think Louis was a councilor for the downtown Y.

Remember travel clubs? Some people could do that gracefully. For a short time my family belonged to a travel club called the Jetaways. That was in southern California, so when we camped we slept on the beach. I don't believe we meshed well with the club, but I don't get that feeling from Louis's family. They make it look easy.

although, who all's in his family?

for children there's only this cat

unfavorites?

You had to wash a lot of cars for this trip to new york.
I like this early bike messenger style, nice road bike, nice crutches.

From here on it's about Louis and Clara.

or more specifically it's about Clara

looking like Astrid Gilberto

feeling it

2009-07-04T21:21:00.003-06:00

2009-07-01T00:32:00.004-06:00

r e a l l y ?

oh oh oh oh

2009-06-29T20:25:00.001-06:00

when you don't wake up all the way all day and and it bums you out

2009-06-29T08:51:00.005-06:00

2009-06-22T14:29:00.004-06:00

2009-06-19T07:56:00.015-06:00

there's a gay blade out in the new grass

playing leap frog with real frogs

arrange the frogs, yourself, the pond

barn owl is the barn yard

a germ bomb summer blockbuster

we don't deserve it

but they're slashing prices on costco caskets

come the new dance is the surfer summer

it's an easy one

a turn over

a fold under

2009-06-19T07:43:00.005-06:00

anyone know this actress

in the victory scene toward the end of Norma Rae?

2009-06-19T07:41:00.002-06:00

2009-06-15T08:06:00.005-06:00

NOTHING IS UNSTABLE

he means nothingness

2009-06-14T12:43:00.002-06:00

2009-06-12T23:33:00.006-06:00

in this hot springs people are talking to each other
rapidly filling in the gaps to create their universe
they're pretty young it's mostly joy
the crowd is in and out of the steam cloud
over here is a large metal coil, like a static spring
you can climb it and I do
I am up a few rungs
stepping around slower people making way for faster
and I think oh good I like my swim suit
then I'm up high enough to die from the fall
I agree to be afraid only in my head and chest, not the limbs
and sort of stuff the adrenaline into my shoulders and hips
one cycle and it's cool
why did I want to climb?
there's no one up here not heaven either
possibly more hot springs
maybe those are snow monkeys or maybe trees

2009-06-07T23:12:00.004-06:00

2009-06-06T04:19:00.001-06:00

2009-06-02T12:45:00.001-06:00

2009-05-31T22:32:00.006-06:00

neuroplasticity, and books are a time travel

this interview opened the weekend

a heroic arc

say two words and make a pair

fire together wire together

where no pair was before

what's outside the universe

and what's outside that

or what does outside mean

collapsing funny

2009-05-28T22:45:00.006-06:00

2009-05-24T23:18:00.005-06:00

2009-05-10T21:22:00.005-06:00

2009-05-06T23:22:00.006-06:00

.

THIS ARTICLE:

"Now that neuroscientists have identified the brain’s synchronizing mechanism, they’ve started work on therapies to strengthen attention. In the current issue of Nature, researchers from M.I.T., Penn and Stanford report that they directly induced gamma waves in mice by shining pulses of laser light through tiny optical fibers onto genetically engineered neurons. In the current issue of Neuron, Dr. Desimone and colleagues report progress in using this “optogenetic” technique in monkeys.

Ultimately, Dr. Desimone said, it may be possible to improve your attention by using pulses of light to directly synchronize your neurons, a form of direct therapy that could help people with schizophrenia and attention-deficit problems (and might have fewer side effects than drugs). If it could be done with low-wavelength light that penetrates the skull, you could simply put on (or take off) a tiny wirelessly controlled device that would be a bit like a hearing aid.
In the nearer future, neuroscientists might also help you focus by observing your brain activity and providing biofeedback as you practice strengthening your concentration. Researchers have already observed higher levels of synchrony in the brains of people who regularly meditate."

reminded me of THIS BOOK, called Chapel of Extreme Experience.

I read it a few years ago and still think about it regularly. It puts a name, flicker, on a certain experience that is universally understood but that I had never heard anyone talk about before.

&

there's also a movie about it

2009-05-04T14:08:00.006-06:00

2009-04-29T09:02:00.003-06:00

old new

.

2009-04-28T22:43:00.006-06:00

mom,
there was something that happened
that got taken out of Ripley's
because not enough people believed it
there were two crows and one of them died
and the one that was with the other one when it died
made a bonfire for the dead one
the people saw it the next day and no one could say for sure
it was just covered in stones and sticks

2009-04-28T09:52:00.005-06:00

making replicas of portraits from the 1930s
replicated in pastel
in a warehouse with the windows open
and wind blowing in
and pants around your ankles
in a city called Los Angeles
held together with rubber bands

2009-04-23T11:02:00.003-06:00

2009-04-19T16:15:00.003-06:00

vampire running

2009-04-15T09:02:00.001-06:00

geeez. love the VERY SHORT LIST.

2009-04-12T08:20:00.005-06:00

2009-04-10T19:25:00.000-06:00

2009-04-08T12:23:00.001-06:00

HELEN SHAPIRO IN POLAND 1964

2009-04-07T10:34:00.001-06:00

2009-04-06T08:47:00.002-06:00

older, fatter, happier

2009-04-05T18:02:00.005-06:00

MERLE HAGGARD - Kern River

2009-04-04T12:13:00.007-06:00

unembedding is boring

2009-03-31T11:37:00.007-06:00

2009-03-30T09:29:00.004-06:00

2009-03-25T14:57:00.002-06:00

Someone had given me a robe from Japan, not exactly a kimono either, all origami patterned and brightly colored soft worn cotton. Who was there to thank for this and how to put it on while floating? Why are the sleeves Victorian? Even my scrawny wrists are bursting out the stitches. A youngish woman at the restaurant below is sitting at a table in New York, politely like a model, not complaining about the stitches ripping out the wrists. But her robe is all black. There is more space where I'm heading.

2009-03-17T15:11:00.001-06:00

s o f a r i n c o l o r a d o

2009-03-17T14:24:00.002-06:00

2009-03-17T14:23:00.002-06:00

2009-03-17T14:22:00.002-06:00

2009-03-17T14:20:00.001-06:00

2009-03-15T16:01:00.001-06:00

2009-03-15T16:00:00.001-06:00